Coming out ~ real self Love

We all need to come out in one way or another; coming out as our true selves transcending the roles & expectations placed upon us (unknowingly of course) by our families, caregivers or society. This is the most difficult part of coming out ~ our closest circles. For when we 'come out' to them, we start to make waves that can make the people closest to us uncomfortable. We start to implement boundaries, we are saying that we wish for things to be different & for us to be treated differently; for our previously unsaid role to change. This makes the people around us extremely uncomfortable..understandably. We all feel rejected when someone changes the dynamic of a relationship or changes their role that may have been unknowingly expected of them - this expectation becomes obvious when it is taken away. The key thing is for us to hold deep compassion for these reactions alongside protecting ourselves in the process; it is not our job to make someone else feel better, especially if it means you have to dim to make them comfortable. Of course, we never mean to cause harm but often the people around us (mostly in our families & inner circles) who have created certain patterns & unsaid rules strongly dislike anyone shifting the dynamic. I believe this is an understandable & primal response ~ we are all interacting with subconscious belief systems & agreements that have been passed down through our ancestors and families - when someone starts to break this chain it is extremely uncomfortable for everyone involved as it starts to unearth what needs to be seen & healed within the family - that which is normally hidden or had a blind eye turned to it. Remember that you are quite literally breaking ancestral patterns which can bring up e v e r y emotion from shame to guilt.

When moving through this process it is so important to learn to self soothe in whatever way that may be for you ~ sometimes it could look like meditating, a run, dancing or zoning out & watching tv - find balance; your medicine will be different in each day, in each situation, learn to move between different tools at different times ~ learn to mother yourself.

As a Collective we need to move from seeking external validation - this is a difficult phase as we are all deeply programmed to seek validation from others. For us to rise & truly come out as our true selves we must be the ones to hold our own hands and work our way there. The fascinating thing is that when we truly own who we are the people around us tend to respect that and if they don't you don't mind because you know who you are & you love yourself fully for it; you no longer need that external validation. The other beautiful side of this work is that you start to have deep compassion for others even when they react or are triggered maybe even by you, you understand as you have become aware of the fact that we all hold triggers & patterns that imprison us, that we would probably all prefer to be rid of and with this compassion comes your boundaries ~ you start to know when to leave a situation in a grounded & healthful way. Sometimes you even inspire others to do the same.

.:. Anchoring into true self-awareness, self-worth & self Love .:.